So I’ve never really been drunk before last night.
But last night I was. And it was terrible.
I now know what it feels like, and to be honest, it feels terrible. Words pour from your mouth and you can’t help it, but you just keep talking. You try to stop yourself but you can’t. It comes out. You need to tell someone something. That’s for me, anyway.
A lot of things I said last night I’ll never repeat sober. And I will keep sober for the rest of my life from now on so no one else ever has to hear those things. In fact, I can’t even remember some of the things I said, even though at the time I definitely knew I was saying them.
It’s undeniable that once in a while you’re going to want to have that feeling again. The feeling of not caring. Of just speaking anything. But in sober truth, I don’t want it ever again. It’s dangerous. I felt like the amount of self-control I was trying to muster was insufficient. And I don’t like that lack of self-discipline and control. The feeling of not being able to control yourself and keep shut because it was too much effort. Jesus, that was a rough night.
Drinking isn’t bad, but over-drinking is.