A Spirit Rekindled.

I think I finally understand.

Back in secondary school, we had a warm spirit, kindled hearts joined as one, united in our stead.  We, together, grounded and bound to be kimgeks. A name we mocked but branded ourselves with proudly.  A quiet dignity.  During games our roars of cheer were top-grade of those of a girls’ school, but we all knew the cheering didn’t do justice to our pride- but the subtleness in how we looked upon our team was where the joy and the pride shone through our hearts with genuity.  The unspoken, yet strong spirit.

And I came to AC and the cheers boomed stadiums.  The people boomed.  It seemed a little fake.  Plastic.   Meaningless yelling.  Until you hear them really cheer.  Not the practise sessions when you’re just in Orientation – but you have to wait until we grow into our uniforms as ACSians.  Now I understand that this spirit is very different from the one in my secondary school.

This spirit booms it’s pride and carries it like a prize.  It burns.  It’s a fiery passion for the school, a fierce love that protects and upholds, and a unity held by a million voices chanting together.  Now as I hear my batchmates scream out the AC cheers I hear the passion in their voice at a massive amplitude as it creates waves in the spectator stands, among those cheering, and the intensity on the face of the people being cheered on grow into sheer determination.

The AC Spirit is like no other.  It dares to be loud.  It dares to be itself.

AC BOLEH.

Something new has rekindled the ACSian in me that is shrouded in my little corner.  I will step out into the light again.  And together – together we shall see new days in ACJC.  New days to bring us to greater heights.

ACSian Theatre presents… A Christmas Carol

His heart sings.  And that’s good enough for him.”

Following Ebeneezer Scrooge through his journey on finding the meaning of Christmas truly warmed my heart as the story was slowly created, built, and shared from the first dance session in July until the moment the curtain shut yesterday on the 21st of November.

Scrooge journeys with the three Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet To Come.  Personally, I think I find the most meaning in the story of Christmas Past.  To see a man change and evolve into something he never thought he’d be.  Something he never wanted to be – someone spoiled by greed, circumstance, and who buries love and joy in his heart because he feels the world has done him no good, and will do him no good.  But then the story progresses, and you see him reminded of love… the love he once had for another person, someone who he could cherish and hold dear.

Yet we as the audience must recognise that this is what we are like, we let ourselves go, be jaded and hurt, and we retract from the world, when in fact we should not.  We do not have the luxury to see what might be, but we can look back at what we were and what we are now, and make our own future to be the one we want.  In us all, we were once innocent, and we can find it again.  We can always find it in ourselves to be joyful, to have happiness, to care for humanity, the people around us, and to find love, ad to be pure of heart, and filled with laughter.

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Never let the moment on the stage pass by.  Live in the moment.  Share the story.  Bring laughter and joy to others through it all.  The journey from July till  now has not been an easy one, but it is not yet the end of my journey in ACSian Theatre, nor would I wish it to be.  It is only just the beginning.  A Christmas Carol wrapped up my first production in ACJC as a member of the cast, after I boarded the tech crew ship for Amadeus and the Day I Met the Prince, and I have to say that while I enjoyed myself having the position to assist those on stage, being on the stage was in a way, more satisfying.  I stood before the audience, and made them feel something, even if my singing wasn’t perfect, wasn’t on key – even when I went sharp – I was in the moment.  I lived the moment.  Oh the dancing, the dancing made life so worth it.  People may not have liked the chereography, but I just thought it was really fun.  I had the time of my life dancing on that stage with all those people – it made every moment so worth it.  It’s hard to express how you feel sometimes, and when you can’t say it, the best way is to just show it – to bear your heart and soul and just let go.  To have fun, and implore others to get up and have some fun with you.  It’s no good if you don’t share the joy, after all.

I’m so grateful for everyone who has walked with me on this journey, beside, in front, or behind me.  Everyone has made this possible.  To my friends, who told me in all honesty I could act and should audition for the Drama Elective Programme, I can’t thank you enough for having that faith in me, so I could have the courage to take the leap.  And I think that was the best decision I made in 2015.  To go for that audition that brought me to where I am today.  My life would have been so different if I hadn’t gone for that audition.  My life would’ve been so different if on that fateful audition Saturday, we had not walked past the Black Studio, and I didn’t hear Uptown Funk blasting from the walls that made me want to audition for movement and text.  I can’t imagine my life if I had dropped out of movement when I was asked to pay instructor fees because I didn’t have the money.  Everything would’ve been so different.  I would be a different person.

Thank you to A Christmas Carol, to 2015 in general, for being so good to me, for teaching me things that I never knew, and to remind of things I thought I would always remember, but in human memory, forgot.  Even if at times I screwed up, even if at times I didn’t feel the best, I’m glad I always kept up the good man’s smile, to stride through the darkest times with friends by my side.  And that is life.

I will keep Christmas close to my heart forever more.  Thank you to everyone – for everything.  Let’s make more magic.

CCAAB Camp 2015 – a View in Short Retrospect

Disclaimer: If you’re a junior in ACJC looking to find out what happens during CCAAB Camp,  you won’t be finding it here.

For the first time, I unwillingly left and went out in public without hair wax, I didn’t have a mirror, and I looked like a wreck in public – not by choice.  It was tough.  Life was hard.  *curtains close as I weep about looking like a wreck*

CCAAB Camp wasn’t the toughest camp I’ve ever gone through – but none of them truly were.  They all stretched and tested me in different ways – each and every camp was different in the goals they had set-up and laid out for us.  But CCAAB was, I justly say, very interesting and thrilling.

It’s different being in a camp with other people who we call “leaders” as opposed to a camp with, well, with everyone.

These people are the people others look up to.  And I look up to them too.  Each one of us are leaders in our own right, and we strive to make our CCAs thrive against the other schools.  We all work in different ways, but it was how we came together to work as a unit despite these working differences that made the experience of the camp so beautiful.

Each test was to train us to start developing invaluable skills like Tenacity.  Passion.  Integrity.  To challenge ourselves, push ourselves beyond our limits.  To be ready to step out and do something new, and to do so not fearlessly, but dauntlessly.  To be the beacon of truth and light for our team mates.  To push not just ourselves but also others to be the best that they can be.  In short, to allow ourselves to be enabled, and to enable others.

This year we didn’t get to do some things because of time constraint and/ or because of the lightning risk, but all was well – we made the best of our situation.  We did other things, played other games, and got to know each other better because as we all know, the best time to bond is our “lepak” time after going through some trying times.  We had a lot of fun together, and we trained together as one.

During our final challenge on the last day, we really went for it.  I wouldn’t say we were completely ready, but we knew there was no more turning back.  We were in it for each other, to push our friends – we had all become friends – even when we were tired, and to allow them to push us when we fell behind.  We ran.  We trudged through everything together and we never let go.  We finished together.

When you’re tired, push others, and let others push you.  We’re all a team.

And as CCAAB 2015, we will strive to make ACJC the best place that it can be, for the best is yet to be.  There is no more turning back.  Let’s just go and whack it.  2016, you’re coming, and we may not be ready, but we’re going to take you on anyway, and we’ll do out best.  We promise.

Thank you to everyone for everything these 4 days.  There is not much else to say… because it would take another entire post, and I think I wouldn’t do you justice if I was ambiguous about it.

I hope I’ve been ambiguous enough, and I hope that if you are a junior looking to see what CCAAB is all about, just know that it’s going to be one of the best times of your life.

You only regret chances not taken.

Never say “steal” in a shop

Yesterday, I had a little taste of what it was like to be entrusted with the task of overlooking the Year-End Sales – basically making sure no one stole anything.

It was all okay, I think.  I trust the students at my school – I truly do.  I know not a soul would… okay… exaggeration.  But I trusted that no one would do it. I watched.  I watched.  I watched.

Nothing happened.

But the minute someone said steal I whipped my head around and raised an eyebrow, but I didn’t do anything – what would I do?  The person was holding their money.  They’d said “it would be so easy to steal from here” and well, what would I have done if someone had stolen something?  I couldn’t prove it.  We didn’t give receipts.  I died.  I really did.  The system was flawed and the paranoia was real.  I kept looking at everyone after that.  It was pretty funny.  But I had a system to check – it was a flawed system, but it was a system nonetheless.

Basically the set-up was this:

A rectangular barricade of tables – the councillors stood on the inside where a pile of stuff was in boxes on benches so we could pull out stock, and people paid at two vertical sides of the rectangle after grabbing the stuff they wanted along the horizontal.

So as long as I saw people with wallets out, or who had come from the vertical sides, I was satisfied they’d paid.

It was a very flawed system.

 

But the moral of the story is: Never say “steal” in a shop where it is possible to steal very easily, because you WILL give the shopkeeper a heart attack, and generally it’ll just make you a terrible person.

 

Written on October 10, 2015, completed on November 15 2015

Keep Digging for More

What is it

when you keep digging

further and further down

but there’s nothing below

you hit the water before you finish

what you wanted

the water is an endless abyss

down, down and further down

those are your feelings

when there are no more left

to be felt

you’ve used

everything.